Saturday, October 13, 2007

Growing older is like owning a car

In the beginning, everything is great. The parts all work, and everything is covered by warranty. About the time you pay it off, the warranty expires.

Then you start to notice things. The suspension is shot, everything jiggles as you go over the bumps in the road. The trunk starts to smell bad. The engine won’t run on the cheap gas anymore, it requires high octane to get any sort of mileage. The muffler begins to drag. The headlights dim everytime the radio gets turned on. The radio give you nothing but static anymore. The paint is worn. There are scratches and dents everywhere. The tires are bald and have no traction. The engine runs, but it takes a while to warm up, it doesn’t just ‘jump off the line’ anymore, and it idles rough. Sometimes it starts and sometimes it needs a bit of coaxing. The clutch slips. You have trouble finding reverse, and when you do, you can’t really see where you are going because the trunk doesn’t quite shut. Your steering isn’t what it used to be, and it’s hard to keep in alignment. Everytime you take it in for service, someone tries to talk you into body work, engine work, or after factory upgrades. Trouble is the parts aren’t available anymore, as your model has been discontinued in favor of the sleek new model.

The upside is, the payments have been made and this baby is all yours. The insurance is cheap. And you don’t have to worry about locking it anymore, the kids down the street wouldn’t be caught dead it anyhow.

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